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My Englishman



Hey. I want to tell you a story about being single and how to find the one.


And there is a process, and I went through this in my 20s. I used myself as a science test. So this is what I did. For 10 years, I was single in Asia. Men everywhere, right? And every opportunity to date. And I was very single. So what I did, I started around the age of 26, 27, I started putting together this list of all the qualities of the man that I would want. And as I went along, I put it down on the list, I would meet that man and realize, "Oh, hold on. Not quite accurate." There are certain things on that list that I changed because I no longer want it because once I've experienced it, it didn't match what I wanted. 

I'll give you an example. One of the first guys I dated, he was everything on the list, except he was a wild man drinker. He was a partier. And I did say I want somebody that was able to party with me, that I didn't have to babysit at a party. But when I met this guy, he was an over-partier. And I'm like, "Ooh, I can't take that. Somebody that gets drunk every night and has to party every night." So what I did was I went back to my list. I said, "Okay, let's take a partier or somebody who knows how to party. I'm going to put down another quality that is somewhat like that and which is somebody who is socially comfortable." So then I went off. And that's how I refined the list over the next five years. And then until the age of 32, I had everything I could put on that list. And believe me, that list is no longer than 12 to 15 qualities. And these are my core beliefs. And it wasn't really things like has to be this tall. Of course, I always knew that he had to be taller than I. So, therefore, I didn't really have to write that down. And somebody that was intellectual. I had that written down. But I didn't know how he was going to look like, but I knew I had my preferences. I've always had my preferences. And that never changed. And so I did finally meet the one at the age of 32 and he was everything on the list, including, I put on there, I want an Englishman. I love Europeans. I love men from England. So I love Englishmen. And guess what? I met an Englishman, and go figure, in Montreal. I wasn't even in England or anywhere else. I was in Montreal and I met an Englishman. Beautiful. But now here's the clincher. I put Englishman, but I didn't put on there that he needed an accent. So, of course, my husband, whom I met, he's an Englishman, but he doesn't have an English accent. Are you freaking kidding me? Everything else on the list was there, except I didn't put that he had to have an accent. Who would ever think you have to actually put Englishman with an accent on a list? I didn't. So here I am, married, happily married, and he's an Englishman with no accent. It's one of those things I had to weigh out when I first met him. I was thinking, "Oh, got to be kidding me. Is it really important to me? Or is it not? Can I let it go, or do I just throw him back into the sea and hope for the next one to come?" And I ended up letting that one go.

So I have an Englishman without the English accent. I guess I'm just going to have to watch English movies.

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©2020 by Susan Hum