If you have dreams, your goals will get you there. You have a 42% better chance if
you write it down. let it go through your head to your hand so you encode it. You have a 65%
chance of success if you share it with an accountability person monthly. You have a 95% chance
if you share it.
So the secret to success is all about having accountability.
So let’s talk about finding a good accountability partner. We think everybody's different, but the key things with an accountability partner are, first of all, that they're not there as a friend. They are there to work with you, meaning that you have to report back. And while it's not like your head is on the chopping block, you feel like it. The whole thing about accountability is getting you to stick to your word. If you say you're going to do something, then your accountability partner is not going to question you. He or she expects that you will do it, but is not there to determine whether you're wrong or right; they just want to make sure that you act upon your word.
You want to find somebody who has been successful, equal to you or greater, who has done more. You want to find the right partner who actually has the presence to be able to get you to hear their words. If in your head you are thinking “I have to get this done, I have to get this done, I have to get this done”, that's when you know you have the right accountability partner. If it were your sibling, for example, while they love you unconditionally, you're not as likely to take it seriously.
Discipline and respect are two principles of success. An accountability partner gives you those principles and values to live by. It's about being strong enough to stick to your word. It's about respecting time and having discipline. It's getting you to be realistic with yourself. A lot of times we say “okay, well I'm going to do this”, but if you don't do it your accountability partner is going to tell you that you need to be a little bit more realistic. And then it's training our minds to work on breaking down those goals. If you say you have fifteen minutes every morning you don't want to waste two hours on accountability, you have those fifteen minutes to report back, and that’s it.
Those things that make you a good and accountable partner are all leading you to embody principles of success and live by your word. If you're walking the talk, integrity leads you to success. It's so important. An accountability partner forces you to be more transparent and honest, because no one can hold you accountable if you're not being honest with yourself. You may need to say that you need help with this. And many of us don't know how to say we need help.
A good accountability partner will tell you that they will hold you accountable, but they are not there to coach you. Your goal could be to find a goal. So your accountability partner will ask you what you want to do, or what your next step is. You are going to set a goal for the next day, or the next week. Your accountability partner may have you report back every day in the morning as to what you've done. You may not have to talk in any detail, just report what you have done. And that leads you to be accountable for that goal. It doesn't have to be any big thing. Train your mind to be disciplined, focused and present.
We need to be ready to be called out for not delivering. Our accountability partner is not there to soften things up and say “Oh, you poor thing! That's okay, you can kill another goal or can kill another dream.” No, it needs to be more like “Okay, you think you want to give up? Whatever, but don't give up.” We have to be realistic. If you've asked for an accountability partner, you're opening yourself to be called out. That's what an accountability partner is.
Accountability partners are not there to enable you in your story. It's nice to have somebody who has a sympathetic ear, but have another conversation if that's the case, where you get into your own personal stuff that's going on. It's not for the accountability calls. And it's a bit of feeling sorry for yourself and wanting to have somebody give you some sympathy. That's not what accountability is all about, because sympathy is not going to help you move forward, because you're still stuck in your story. You need someone who is going to hold you accountable for getting out of your story and get closer to your goals.
So, let’s recap. The first step is finding somebody who you really respect, who has had a certain level of success in some way. It doesn't have to mean a big business tycoon. It could be the most successful mom you know. Second is choosing somebody who you know is really committed. You want someone who is serious and has integrity, and also that's going to keep their word. The third tip is to make sure that you have honesty within that relationship, and that there is a level of transparency with both parties, but especially the one being held accountable.
Whatever you want to be held accountable for, the accountability partner is not there to judge you, but is only there to be the guideposts to make sure that you show up. You need to fulfill your commitment, yet you don't have to ask questions, otherwise you get into coaching. They are there solely as an accountability partner, helping you achieve your goals.