3 Ways to Stop Procrastinating Love
Did you once upon a time dream of meeting your soul mate and living happily ever together only to be repeatedly hit with disappointing experiences in your search for true love?
After a long period of continuous dating failures, your faith in the knight in shining armour showing up breaks down while your jadedness rears its ugly head. So, what do smart and ambitious people do? They focus their efforts on goals they can have a better handle and control over including their career success. The common outcome is successful people find themselves in their finest hour alone wishing they had a special someone to share their success with. How about if finding true love can be as systematic as achieving their professional success? I will show you how.
If people are honest with themselves, there is generally only one reason why their love life, or lack of, stays the same, year in and year out and that is procrastination. A failure to act on their desires is usually the main reason why people fail to level up or move ahead in having that special someone to share their life with.
The simple truth is everyone procrastinates; however, the difference between really successful people, people who achieve average success, and people who stay stuck, is their level of smart action! So, the real question is … why don’t we just take action?
Most people know what needs to be done to get the things, situations, and outcomes they desire; however, when it comes time for love, they are frozen and blindfolded. This isn’t always just a simple case of laziness. Many times, there are deep-rooted feelings of fear, insecurity, and emotional blocks. They make excuses as to why they shouldn’t bother or why they deserve to sit in front of the TV after a hard day at work!
You can study all the personal development and self-improvement material in the world. You can buy and listen to the best seminars, books, and DVDs, but unless the knowledge is applied with a specific goal or vision in mind, it is worse than useless and it just wastes your precious time. There is no substitute for taking action, even if the action might initially lead you in the wrong direction!
Here are 3 ways you can start getting the results you want in love.
1. Have a clear vision
I’ve worked with many smart, successful women who have defined all the characteristics they want in a life partner, but are still single because they question whether that ideal person even exists for them. The common question I hear is “Am I just too fussy?”
It is important to understand the difference between standards and core values. Standards are qualities that are tied to your self-image and what you see for yourself and in your partner. Core values are how you hold yourself accountable to your integrity, and they are tied to your conscience. As we grow, we learn to align our standards with our core values. Standards change over time. Core values are constant.
Look at what role models you had in your upbringing, teaching you what a healthy and loving relationship looks like. Unfortunately, many people have never had positive love models in their life. If this is the case, it is important to surround yourself with couples or people who show and teach you what healthy, successful relationships are all about.
2. Persistence is the attitude
There are no quick fixes to finding true love. Persistence is one of the key elements of success. Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times until finally he created the modern electric light bulb. When asked about this, his reply was simple but profound: “I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I haveeliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”
Edison had persistence. He wasn’t afraid to try and fail because he understood the purpose of failure. When it looks like your approach didn’t work, pivot and do it another way. In dating, don’t let a few disappointing dates break your love dreams. Keep focusing on developing your certainty on what you really want by knowing, with certainty, what you don’t want. Don’t simply give up on love altogether. You are not a victim out there. You have full control of your thinking and mindset. Be compassionate with yourself, and understand that life experience doesn’t come without life education. We are all here to learn, so embrace learning with patience.
3. Accountability is the magic wand
The science of goal setting dictates that there is a 42% greater likelihood that you will achieve your goals if you write them down, 65% greater chance if you tell a friend, and a whopping 95% greater likelihood if you have an accountability partner.
In your journey towards attracting meaningful love connections, the most effective accountability you can implement right away is choosing to surround yourself with people who have a positive attitude towards love and dating. So many of my clients who struggled in the world of dating surrounded themselves with friends who shared the same pain and reinforced disaster stories over and over.
Another option is hiring a coach who can help you with your mindset and give you strategies to implement in your life to elevate your love attraction, while holding you accountable for doing the right work. This can include joining groups where you are supported and encouraged by like-minded individuals going through the same journey as you.
As I have said previously, most people already know what they need to do to get the outcome they are seeking. We live in the information technology age. Information on every subject is available to us at our fingertips, if we just care to look. Perhaps you are putting off doing even that. Don’t you think it’s time for you to embrace the journey to love? From little acorns grow mighty oaks … start small. A few steps a day turn into many miles over time.
Managing patience is important. Defining your strategy as the guardrails on the path to self-awareness and learning the dating terrain will keep you on track while keeping you motivated and inspired. Choose a few small actions that you can take easily and build on them. After a short while, you will begin to see the wonderful results you are creating in your life. Make it a personal development quest to improve yourself or your life a little each day. Trust me, if you take small steps, you will make big leaps in your life. So, stop procrastinating now and go do what you know will work by discovering what doesn’t work, and then you will be amazed with how empowered you really are!